Being Okay With Not Being Okay

As I’ve mentioned many times throughout some of my posts, I definitely struggle with feelings of anxiety. During the darkest moments of my life, it often felt like I had lost control of everything; making my anxiety spike. Trouble sleeping, fatigue, mood swings, general lack of energy…you name it I had it! It’s amazing how much stress and being anxious can affect our health inside and out. 

One of the major reasons I was struggling so much was because I was not okay with not being okay. I hid my anxieties and my feelings from everyone and struggled to keep up appearances. This of course was not helpful for anyone. It wasn’t healthy for me to hold it all in and it didn’t allow for anyone else to help me or to know how I was feeling. When I’m feeling the old feelings of anxiety sweep over me, here are some things I tell myself:

  • Don’t Obsess: Don’t obsess over the when’s, the why’s, the how’s, and what-if’s. Take these scenarios that are playing over and over in your head, take a deep breath in, and let them go. Obsessing will not bring you any closer to the answer. 
  • Erase Your Timeline: When something doesn’t happen exactly when you thought it would, let it go. Don’t consider it a failure or yourself a failure. If you are truly doing the best that you can, that is all you can do. Don’t compare your timeline to another person’s timeline. 
  • Have Faith: I have heard it said that the opposite of fear is faith. Faith can be scary but it is necessary in overcoming anxiety. Faith is believing in the things we cannot see and allowing life to run its’ course. It may not be exactly how we think it will be, but it will be its’ own kind of beautiful. 

If anyone out there is reading this feeling afraid, feeling anxious, feeling like a failure….know that you are not alone. Allow your loved ones to support you by being honest with yourself and how you’re feeling. It’s okay to not be okay; no one has it all figured out. We’re all in this together and we’re all trying to find our place. Breathe in. Breathe out. Let it all go. Life, after all, is its’ own beautiful mess. 

Are you okay with not being okay? Do you hide your anxiety? 

Tell me in the comments below!

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27 thoughts on “Being Okay With Not Being Okay

  1. Erase your timeline and have faith are two wonderful pieces of advice. “Let go and let God” is my favorite way to say it. There are so many pressures out there to do things at certain times but life is too unpredictable for that.

    • Yes! I recently heard my husband’s family member say that when their house wouldnt sell for 2 years and things didnt seem to be coming together for their family. It really stuck with me!

  2. Love those tips- I struggle with anxiety too and telling myself to not obsess and have faith that God will pull me through helps me. It really is important to learn that it is okay to NOT be okay in life- we cannot always be smiling and happy!

  3. Great post girl with some definite great tips. My daddy always says “keep the faith” and it has kind of become my mantra with everything. I know that life is about more than our time here on earth, so I just try to breathe and remember that God is in control of it all!!

  4. So important. I tend to get caught up in what I think I “should” feel and judge myself if I’m not feeling that way. I need to constantly step back and remind myself IT IS OKAY to feel however I feel, even if it’s not happy or grateful, etc. All feelings are okay and we need to acknowledge them and address them in order to overcome them!

  5. I can definitely relate to this. I do struggle with anxiety, but it has gotten a lot better this year. I have taken time to slow down, enjoy the now and not stress about things I can’t control. Some days it is harder than others, but I definitely try to be more aware of stress and when it pops up.

    • That’s so great to hear that you’ve been doing better with it! I think I have too as this year goes on. Cheers to growth!

    • So true–so often we allow all of the frustrations and worries of a single moment/phase in time dictate how we react and feel. It really does always work out in one way or another!

    • So true! That one is the hardest for me too. I replay what if’s in my head over and over and over..so exhausting! AND really…its a waste of time!

  6. Wow!! I felt like I was reading my own thoughts and anxieties. These are great tips. The obsessing and the timeline are the ones that I struggle with the most. But, I do much better when I spend time praying instead of worrying. Sometime’s it’s just so hard to let it go! I do struggle with anxiety, but am doing better with it. Running has helped a lot to calm me down and get some of those worries out of my mind. I am also really trying to focus on right now, instead of worrying about a timeline.

    • Yes! So glad you could relate to this post–thanks for sharing your own struggles too! I think exercise definitely helps me too. The timeline is really a tough one…especially as women I think we place a huge empashis on timelines for marriage, kids, having “X” amount in your bank account by this time, etc. Kate metioned in these comments something that I recently heard and loved “Let Go and Let God” such a great thing to remember!

    • Thanks, Chrissa! I hope that you are feeling better and growing as your son grows older. Thanks for sharing your own struggles! I have learned that to help another person feel alone we often have to put ourselves out there. Hopefully by posting my own struggles and what has worked for me, may help others! <3

  7. I can completely relate to this post! I certainly felt the same way previously – that I had to hide not being okay from everyone and keep it stuffed down inside of me. Letting out our negative feelings is so essential to helping let them go!

    • It’s such a hard spot to be in! So glad you were able to get out of that spot. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

  8. I actually needed to read this tonight. So, thank you so much, Heather! I’m slowly, but surely, learning to be okay with not being okay all the time. Life takes patience; sometimes things don’t go as planned. That’s okay. We’re all growing; we’re all changing. I love your “don’t obsess” point. SO TRUE! <3

    • So glad to hear it helped, Edye! It can be so hard when our culture is telling us to hide certain emotions from everyone! Hope you feel better about things!

  9. Thank you so much for sharing. I’ve been diagnosed with agoraphobia for several years and have even lost friends over it. Writing about it has been a huge outlet. I’m trying to come to terms with being ok with NOT being Okay – and that’s hard. It feels like accepting that is like saying it’s never going to be Ok.

    • Thanks for sharing your own struggles, Alicia! I agree with you 100%. Writing about my anxiety and sharing my tips has really helped!

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