The Comparison Game

Have you ever struggled with wanting to be happy for someone else’s success but deep down just feeling jealous of them? So often I fall victim to the comparison game and end up feeling unsuccessful in so many aspects of life. As a mother, as a blogger, as a worker, etc. Lately, it’s really been a struggle for me in terms of other people’s success. I want to be happy when I see people thrive and succeed, but boy is it hard when I want the same for myself and I’m just not there no matter how much effort and time I put in to it. Jealousy has been a really hard thing for me for most of my life. Here are a few things that I try to remind myself when I’m having a particularly hard time. I’d also love to hear any of your advice in the comments below. 

Don’t Use Social Media to Compare

Being on social media is especially difficult when you’re going through a rough patch and aren’t exactly feeling stoked for everyone else’s success. If possible, take a break from looking at it or monitor what you are looking at. This is especially hard for a blogger who wants to keep up a presence on social media, but sometimes a break is necessary. Also, keep in mind that what we see isn’t the whole picture, it’s just a highlight reel.

Avoid Triggering Coversations

If you’re kind of at a low point and need some time and space, try not to put yourself in situations that will make it worse. For example, when I was at my most sad about having to go back to work after my maternity leave, I tried to avoid talking about logistics post-leave or talking with full time stay at home moms about their lives at home. 

Give Yourself More Credit

You (and myself included) are probably doing better than we give ourselves credit for. Everyone has to juggle many hats. Certain goals will take more time depending on each individual. Try not to compare yourself to someone without the same responsibilities as you. Getting to a certain place sometimes takes longer.

Try To Find the Good

When I’m feeling bad, I try to shift my mind to the good things. I think of what I’m particularly thankful for. I hold my family close. The little things are sometimes the biggest things when you’re in a rough place. This point has been really difficult for me lately. It’s hard when my mind is going to the things that I can’t do but want to do; all the while seeing others sail through with ease. 

It’s Going to be Okay!

If you’re reading this and nodding along, I feel you! I want more for myself and for this blog and for my family than I can currently have. It’s frustrating for sure. Life does keep on going and we just have to keep doing the best we can. Lets focus on what we have and not make ourselves feel worse by comparing ourselves to the people who seem to have amazing things happen to them without trying. We don’t know the whole picture and that’s okay. 

What do you do when you’re falling trap to the comparison game? How do you ward off jealousy?

Tell me in the comments below!

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6 thoughts on “The Comparison Game

  1. i really love this Heather. i’m glad you brought up social media, as that’s something that is SO easy to compare ourselves to others with. and giving ourselves more credit!! so important

    • Yes, and I feel like at least for me, I tend to look at things that upset me on social media at the worst possible times. It’s like we want to torture ourselves…haha ugh!

  2. I think that I didn’t go as far as I could have in life. But then I look at my amazing 3 daughters and feel like I got the most important things right. And who could ask for more?

  3. Yes and yes and yes. You are not alone. I’m having a very hard time comparing myself to others in regards to my career…my age and my success etc etc. I have to stay off facebook. I just have to. I will so quickly come across a post about someone else’s success and then find myself spending all night drowning myself in what everyone else is doing. It’s a mean game i play with myself. You just have to wear blinders. Know that your journey is your journey and that there is no time line to life. “The littlest things are the biggest things.”….. Yes.

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