Things You Shouldn’t Say to a Young Married Couple

Things You Shouldn’t Say to a Young Married Couple

  • Just Wait a few years… When someone who has been married longer than you has to tell you that it’s all down hill from here. That in a few years you will be sick and tired of each other, etc. Please stop, no one needs that negativity.
  • When are you having kids? Just stop. You don’t know what a person has been through, what they want, what they don’t want. It might even be a point of tension between a couple. Don’t bring it up unless they want to talk about it. Even then, tread lightly. Also, please do not tell me “my clock is ticking” I’m not an alarm clock and I’m well aware of my “clock”.
  • Just wait until you have kids… There’s no need to tell a young couple that their lives will change when they have kids. It is not someone else’s place to tell you what will happen to your personal relationship with your spouse if/when kids are added in the mix. All that does is create agitation and anxiety! People grow and change through life’s stages, this doesn’t mean everything will be terrible.
  • Don’t You miss your freedom? I truly believe that if you feel getting married is losing your freedom, perhaps you haven’t met the right person yet. I’ve never felt burdened by being married. Sure, you think of someone else in your plans but when you love that person, thinking of them is natural in your decisions.
  • Why’d you get married so young…do you have kids? These questions are often both asked of me at the same time. Oh, you got married straight out of college, this means you must have an “oopsie baby”.  To be honest, if it were financially possible, I would have married Daniel in college but we didn’t have the means at that time!

Young marrieds, what else am I missing? Please chime in below! And everyone else, it’s okay if you’re guilty of any of these. Things happen and we don’t always think before we speak. I am guilty of saying stupid things many times; just think before you speak to a young married couple, especially if you are older and more seasoned in your marriage.

Marrieds, What are you tired of hearing people ask? Unmarrieds, are you tired of answering any questions? 

Tell me in the comments below!

Thanks to Amanda for letting me think out loud!

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47 thoughts on “Things You Shouldn’t Say to a Young Married Couple

  1. The kids question drives me insane!! People have no idea no idea if we want kids but can’t get pregnant or if it’s just not the right time yet. Now that we e been married for 7 years what makes me even angrier is when people ask about kids and then tell me that they’re “just giving up” on me ever having any. I also hate the one about your clock is ticking. Another one is when people point out that others our same age have x amount of kids or have had kids for X amount of years! It is just rude to pry into someone’s personal life. As you can tell it’s a sensitive subject for me. Lol

    • me too!!!!!!!!!!!!! What if you asked someone that who just had a miscarriage?! like seriously…shut your mouth, people!

  2. omgoodness!! if people started saying that to me, i’d stop hanging out with them altogether. I get that once in a while from a single friend (my bf and i have been together 2.5 years), asking me if i dont miss being single. she doesn’t mean it in an unkind way, just actual curiosity haha

  3. This couldn’t be more on point! We hear this stuff all the time since we got married. I really try to refrain from bringing up children with other (unless they bring it up) because I know a lot of people who can’t have children and it really hurts them. I also know people who do not want kids at all and the subject is touchy for them because they feel the pressure of others around them and society on how they should have kids.

  4. The downhill statement gets me, but, since I’m not married, I get either “When will he pop the question?” (umm, if I knew, I still wouldn’t tell you) or the flip side, “Don’t bother getting married, everything changes & goes downhill” – or something like that. Really? If you’re so bitter & cynical did you ever think it’s because you picked a bad partner, not because the concept of marriage sucks?

    As someone who prides myself on being generally sarcastic, snarky & quick witted people usually regret asking me these types of questions. As is always my goal. 🙂

    • hahaha I’m loving this comment! So true! OR they picked a good partner but no longer want to work at making it the best they can! The grass is green where you water it!

  5. “I truly believe that if you feel getting married is losing your freedom, perhaps you haven’t met the right person yet. ” -< well said! We get married to enrich our lives, not tie us down! I was at 21, so I've definitely heard it all. And now with the kids question, I'm like I'm only 23! I've got so much time. Something that annoys me is when my friends treat me as though I've got it made since I'm married already. Yes, I'm fortunate to be with my husband, but life still has challenges!

    • Thats a good one! I get that from time to time too. People think that if you’re married everything magically works out easily…financially….emotionally…everything. NOT always!

  6. Not married yet, but constantly getting asked when I’m going to finally settle down and GET married 😆 I don’t understand these questions. Like… what does it matter to you what I’m doing with my life?! Mind your own damn business.

  7. YES to all of these! One thing I’m getting a lot of right now is “So what’s your name now?” My husband and I both decided we would keep our own names and it’s annoying having to explain that to everyone. First they had a problem with us not having a big wedding, and now they have issues with us not changing our names. It’s almost like they’re surprised we can make our own decisions lol!

  8. My husband and I got married back in October and I was 21. While nobody has asked out outright when we are going to have kids, I do hear the phrase “oh, just wait UNTIL you have kids!” It does bug me a little.

    I think young marriage is great 🙂

  9. Yes, yes and YES to your first point! My husband and I try to be romantic and make an effort to tell each other how much we appreciate one another. I’ve heard the “just you wait” comment on several occasions and it’s so irritating!

    • I get that a lot too! Or when someone hears my husband say something nice to me or do something sweet they like to tell me its only a matter of time until that stops.

  10. YEEEESSSSSSS. Just yes to all of this. I have literally heard all of these. I feel so compelled (which is so stupid) to inform people that there is in fact a 3 month gap between my getting married and pregnancy. My favorite was when I was engaged and people would ask me what the rush was. WHAT DOES IT MATTER TO YOU!?

    • I got the “whats the rush” constantly too! We got married 3 weeks after i graduated college and were engaged 6 months. WHY DO YOU PEOPLE CARE IF I WAIT 2 MORE MINUTES OR TWO MORE YEARS?!

  11. Amen!! We are just shy of two years and it feels like “everyone” 1) expects us to have two children already or 2) is waiting for us to fail.

    I also dislike it so very much when (usually single) people seem to imply my life should be “perfect” because *at least* I’m married…in every season of life (single, marriage, motherhood, etc) there are struggles, joys, and all that goes along with this messy life — no season is perfect!

    Thanks for sharing this — have a great weekend! 🙂

    • Yes! Love this response! I agree with you on the “at least you’re married” Yes its amazing but definitely has its own challenges! the rest of life’s problems and challenges do not go away when you get married!

      Thanks for reading, hope you’ll stop by again soon! Have a good weekend, Jessica!

  12. What a great post! I have heard them all and it can get rather frustrating at times. I don’t mind the baby questions much because I like to talk about my future with kids, but the freedom thing and things going downhill really annoys me. Why does the fun have to stop when we get married? To me having kids is the point when life really does change (in good ways), but marriage hasn’t really made me feel like I am settling down much… just doing life with my better half. 🙂

    • Yes–so true! I dont mind talking about kids in the future either but Ive had some hurtful “why arent you pregnant yet” totally blunt and rude things said to me that really made me anxious!

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