TOL: Always Saying Sorry

TOL: Always Saying Sorry

Have you ever thought that you bumped in to someone, said sorry, and turned around only to realize that you ran in to a desk? Sure, it’s polite to say “sorry” for something like this but still, I feel like we are always saying sorry for everything. Today I wanted to do some Thinking Out Loud on the topic and hear your thoughts in the comments!

Things You Can Stop Apologizing For:

  • Your Diet: Maybe you have an allergy, an intolerance, maybe you’re vegan, or maybe you just want to eat a huge slice of pizza and chocolate cake on the side! Don’t say sorry for having to order what you can eat. Tell anyone having you over your dietary needs in advance, offer to bring something, but do not say sorry. We’re all different and everyone is entitled to eat the way that makes their body feel the best. 
  • Staying In Instead of Going Out: Maybe you’re like me and have to wake up at 5:30am for work, maybe you’re tired, maybe you have kids and a family to care for…or maybe you just want to be alone. Don’t apologize for not wanting to go out and be social. Sometimes we need to recharge at home! Alone time is often necessary for staying sane.
  • Saying No: If someone is asking you to do something that you can’t do or don’t feel comfortable doing, say no and don’t add in an apology. I think this is especially important in the workplace. If you don’t have time to do something or feel like someone is taking advantage of your efficiency, it can be okay to say no.
  • Asking a Question: So often we start a question with “I’m sorry but…” Why?! It’s okay to ask a question for clarification. Questions help to hash out problems, get to the meaning of a conversation, and to learn more. There’s no need to apologize for asking a question. 
  • How “Unclean” Your Home is: Very often women will clean their homes in a flurry for visitors and then as soon as they arrive apologize for the “mess”. If the people who are coming over to your house will judge your mess then maybe it’s time they move on to another person. We’re all busy, don’t apologize for not scrubbing your baseboards every day.

Do you apologize often? What would you add to this list?

Tell me in the comments below!

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28 thoughts on “TOL: Always Saying Sorry

  1. Ugh my least favorite is when I apologize that someone made ME upset.
    You are right and we could probably apologize less than 50% of what we do. We have been so groomed to say “I’m sorry!” Sometimes when I see people in my youth group apologizing for a silly things I let them know it’s unnecessary. We don’t have to apologize for our existing, haha.

  2. Oh my gosh I totally agree with everything here. Why do we apologize for everything?! I’ve tried to get better at it, but I still find myself apologizing for something several times a day. I love all the points you brought up here though! Maybe I can learn something from you 🙂

  3. Oh boy, I love this so much, so much. I’m guilty of saying sorry in my head about saying ‘no’, feeling guilt for staying in, and probably my diet. :))) I think I really have to examine, ‘What is sin and what isn’t sin?’ Sometimes I make these external rules that are silly, and then I miss the real thing. It’s not wrong to say no, and it’s actually good to say it so you honestly share with people that you just can’t do everything. 🙂

  4. I actually just read an article about how the more times you say “sorry” in work, the less respected you become. Obviously, this wasn’t about honestly apologizing for something, but just saying “sorry” out of habit!

    I know it’s a habit that I’m trying to break, too. Great reminders that we shouldn’t be sorry to be who we are!

    XO, Jessica
    http://www.semisweettooth.com

  5. I’ve found that I’ve gotten a lot better at avoiding the unnecessary sorries as I’ve gotten older, but there are still some things I need to work on… like not saying sorry when someone ELSE does something wrong and puts a strain on a relationship/friendship. I’m not a huge fan of confrontations so I try to avoid them, but it doesn’t really work so well in the long run…

  6. definitely agree with all of the sorrys listed. We are constantly saying sorry and its not necessary. i finally have learned to stop saying sorry about not going out.. I am right there with you about getting up early and having a full day.. i dont feel an ounce bit bad about not going out anymore. And the diet one is on point. people who don’t care about eating healthy will never understand and its unfair that they try to make you feel bad about doing so… doesnt make sense…

  7. I had a huge problem with this for many many years and I didn’t realize how often I did it until people started pointing it out. It took a lot of concentrated effort to pay attention to when I was doing it and pausing beforehand to make sure I needed to say it. Most of the time I didn’t.

  8. Being a Canadian – we are stereotyped for always saying sorry. And by god it is SO true (although obviously it is not just us). I was training a girl a few weeks ago who would say sorry for everything and I told her right off the bat, “you are not allowed to say that word.”
    I actually made a mini commitment to myself a few years ago to not say sorry for anything that I’m actually not sorry for (of course if I am sorry I will apologize with my whole heart) and I have found that both my self confidence and anxiety have gotten so much stronger. It takes so much energy – emotionally and mentally – to be apologizing. It is demeaning to ourselves and sending internal messages to ourselves that we are not worthy.
    Of course, an apology needs to be due where its due, but this is of a different matter haha.

    • Love this–and did not know this was a Canadian stereotype! Ive made this commitment to myslef recently and its been very empowering–especially at work!

  9. I used to be bad at apologizing all the time, but then I stopped. Lol I think I just started wondering why am I always apologizing…especially if I didn’t do anything wrong. I agree with the comment about apologizing at work. I think that’s when it set in for me. I thought people are going to think they can walk all over me and I’ll just apologize for it! I’m much better now about not doing it. But, I will apologize when I am wrong!

  10. Totally relate to the staying in and not going out thing, because I always say sorry so much if I genuinely feel like having a night for myself and not going out. Sometimes I feel bad for prioritizing self-care over a night out with friends, but I need to remember putting ourselves first is so important!

  11. I’m SO bad with this. To the point where Alex literally yells at me for saying sorry so much. It’s a problem! I definitely don’t want to teach my boys to say sorry ALL the time, because I think it opens up the door for being walked all over.

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